Try this with your child today, you won't believe how it works!

As health coaches, we were introduced to a powerful framework that, at first, felt counterintuitive—especially as parents. The idea? We’re not here to solve anyone’s problems, not even our children’s. This shift in perspective has been game-changing for us personally, professionally, and in the way we support our clients.

As parents, it feels natural to want to “fix” our children’s problems. But here’s the catch: when we step into "fix-it" mode, we risk taking on problems we can’t solve while also sending the message to our kids that they can’t handle things on their own. This leaves us anxious and depleted and diminishes their sense of capability.

So, what’s the alternative, you ask? Though it might feel awkward at first, it’s incredibly freeing as a parent and much easier to do than you might think: we simply need to listen. Listening to respond is easy; listening to understand is much harder. This means hearing the words, seeking clarification, and approaching the conversation with curiosity.

Imagine your child is telling you something upsetting, like crying in the toilet at school because they felt anxious. It’s not easy to listen to. The reason? We’re emotionally triggered ourselves. We struggle to hear their pain, and the instinct to fix kicks in. We know all too well how this feels.

This is where self-awareness comes in: understanding our emotions and recognising the role we may unconsciously play in our child’s anxiety. If we respond to our child’s difficult situation with our own anxiety and a “fixing” reaction, we risk increasing their distress. Instead, by focusing on emotional regulation, we become calmer and more supportive, seeking to understand the feelings behind their story. Our goal is to help our children reflect, identify their emotions, and process them by talking and connecting with us.

We’re now offering 60-minute, one-to-one masterclasses where we share the transformational skills that have had a profound impact on both our professional and personal lives. These sessions distil everything we’ve trained in, worked through, and lived by into a simple, easy-to-action format so that you can get started right away.

 The Emotions Lab