What's driving your anxious behaviour now?

In our work with anxious children, a key insight is the importance of understanding our own anxiety as adults. Anxiety is often described as a future-oriented emotion, rooted in anticipation of what might happen. Yet, it’s also deeply tied to past experiences—even those we may not consciously remember. Research shows that a remarkable 95% of our thoughts and feelings are subconscious, shaped by early experiences and beliefs. In energy psychology, it’s suggested that these subconscious patterns are set by the age of seven, when a child’s experiences with the world are “recorded” like a tape that plays continuously throughout life.

For example, a client shared her daughter’s struggle with school anxiety. As a young child, she changed schools, which left her feeling insecure in new environments. This early experience imprinted beliefs like “I don’t fit in here”. Over time, her brain continued to search for evidence to support this belief, reinforcing it through similar situations. By adulthood, such beliefs can feel like undeniable truths, automatically triggering anxiety in new scenarios, even if we don’t understand why.

Breaking free from these subconscious cycles begins with identifying which thoughts and beliefs might be holding us back. Ask yourself: are these beliefs rooted in the present moment, or are they echoes of past experiences? Recognising these patterns creates an opportunity for us to shift our response or behaviour. The more flexibility we have as adults to break free from limiting beliefs the more space, freedom and awareness we have to support our children.

 The Emotions Lab