Would you blame a lettuce if it didn’t grow in your garden?

We love this quote from Vietnamese Buddhist, Nhat Hanh:

"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need more fertilizer, or more water or less sun. You never blame the lettuce."

This principle can hold particular significance in the context of schools, emphasizing the importance of connection and compassion between teachers and children and one of the reasons why we developed our tool, The Connection Cone.

In the classroom, children (just like lettuce) thrive best under the right conditions. When a child struggles, it’s easy to move straight to blame attributing difficulties to a lack of effort or inherent skill. I know this feeling well as a parent. However, Nhat Hanh’s analogy encourages us as parents and teachers to look more closely, seeking to understand and address the underlying causes of a child’s challenges. Could it be that the environment isn’t right for the child to thrive?

This can feel daunting in a world where there is limited time and already too much to do. There is however a simple answer and that lies in the power of connection. Connection can be as important to physical and mental health as diet and exercise. Connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us to learn, increase our ability to regulate our emotions and even improve our immune systems!

We have developed a connection tool for teachers to use in schools. It works by helping teachers to learn how to connect to themselves first and to understand their own strengths and then to learn the language that can promote empathic, curious and connected conversation with a child.

We have seen in our own families and in our practise that when connections are strengthened, everything changes, and children can start to grow like lettuces!

E&L