Rigid. Focused. Unstoppable

I watch with equal parts awe and frustration the unique strengths and challenges of living alongside autism. Every trait my son has is both a strength and a weakness, and I choose, as often as I can, to see the strengths.

It’s easy to get trapped in the doom spiral of “what if this is a weakness?” But the one thing I always have control over is the story I tell myself.

Take rigid thinking, for example. It’s often described as an autistic trait and, like many autistic traits, it’s seen as “out of the ordinary,” not quite normal. I find myself worrying about traits like this, conditioned to think they must be wrong. On the surface, rigid thinking can look like stubbornness, arrogance, or a total lack of flexibility. Sometimes it does drive me to distraction.

But the more I watch, the more I notice something else: it doesn’t bend. Once my son has his eyes on a goal, they stay there. No Plan B. No “let’s weigh the options.” No what ifs, buts, or maybes. He can swing from complete indecision paralysis to laser focus, but once that focus locks in, it’s absolute.

And maybe… maybe that’s not a flaw.

I’m a big believer in manifestation, that our thoughts, feelings, and actions shape our reality. So what if his rigid thinking is actually the purest form of manifestation? No second-guessing, no watering down the vision. Just a direct line from thought to reality.

As a parent, watching this can be really uncomfortable. I love a Plan B. I love safety nets. But maybe my lesson here is to step back, be brave, and trust that his way is the right way for him.

The neurodiverse brain sees the world differently. And if I’m honest, I’ve wasted years of my life in the land of “what ifs.” My son doesn’t go there. He decides. He does.

Rigid. Focused. Unstoppable.

Perhaps the world just isn’t built for that yet. Perhaps we still live in a society desperate to cling to conformity. And maybe that’s really what lies at the heart of so-called “problematic” autistic traits: not the traits themselves, but a world still uncomfortable with difference. Despite so many strides toward equality, we remain in a system that often prefers to label our children with a disorder rather than honour their individuality and create the support, understanding, and structures that would allow them to truly thrive.

The Emotions Lab