Is THIS preventing you from reaching your goals?

The Emotions Lab is all about understanding emotions & the link they have to our health. Why should we care? Because feelings and emotions dictate our choices, our successes, how we go through our lives and even disease in our bodies.

In our lives, we are (always) trying to get closer to a feeling we desire or further away from one we don’t. The more reactive we are to our feelings; chances are the more issues we have. Think about that for a second.

We can relate this theory to any of the things we (or our children) struggle with. Take the example of a child who appears resilient and one who appears not to be. The one who shows resilience is just able to tolerate feelings of discomfort for longer. A child who appears not to have resilience has yet to learn this skill or may feel more deeply. Instead of experiencing the feeling of discomfort the ‘less’ resilient child may have an angry outburst, run away or be rude. Anything not to feel the feeling.

Instead of feeling anxiety as adults we can do all manner of things to avoid this feeling.  We might drink to resolve social anxiety. We might procrastinate on tasks to avoid the anxious feelings starting them would give us. This is something I work through everyday whilst setting up a new business. The anxiety that it can bring makes me want to avoid many of the tasks that need to be done!

3 things to think about for ourselves and our kids.

1. Think about something you are struggling with. What is the feeling associated with it and what are you trying to avoid feeling?
2. Can you allow yourself to feel the feeling without reacting to it? As an example, can you tolerate the feeling of anxiety in your body without responding by trying to numb it?
3. Two things can be true at the same time. I can feel anxious and go to a party. I can feel frustrated and stay calm. I can feel hungry and enjoy coffee with a friend.

What our brains learn when we do this is that the feelings are nowhere near as threatening as we thought. And each time we practise we overcome the strong feelings we once feared. 

The Emotions Lab