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The Emotional Regulation Quiz

Take our 3-minute Emotional Regulation Quiz
Discover how emotionally regulated you are.
The way we handle stress doesn’t just affect us, it shapes the atmosphere at home and how safe and supported our children feel. This short quiz will give you a quick snapshot of your own regulation style and how it might be impacting your child’s wellbeing.

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Question 1 of 12

When your child has a meltdown, what happens in your body first?

A

I notice the stress, but I can usually pause before reacting.

B

My chest tightens or my jaw clenches — I hold it in, but it leaks out.

C

My whole body feels like it’s buzzing — I snap before I can stop myself.

D

I freeze or shut down completely, like my body just gives up.

Question 2 of 12

After a high-emotion moment with your child, how do you usually feel?

A

A little drained, but I can move on fairly quickly.

B

Exhausted — I replay it in my head for hours.

C

Wired and shaky — like I can’t calm back down.

D

Numb — I feel like I can’t connect with anyone after.

Question 3 of 12

What best describes your “go-to” reaction when your child resists or refuses?

A

I take a breath and try to respond calmly.

B

I grit my teeth and whisper-yell or snap.

C

I lose it and say things I regret.

D

I shut down and avoid the conflict completely.

Question 4 of 12

 How often do you feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” in your own home?

A

Rarely — I notice it but can catch myself.

B

Sometimes — especially when I’m tired or stressed.

C

Often — it feels like every day is unpredictable.

D

Constantly — I’m bracing all the time, even when things are calm.

Question 5 of 12

Which thought feels most familiar late at night?

A

“I handled some moments well today.”

B

“I wish I hadn’t snapped like that.”

C

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”

D

“I feel like I’m failing my child.”

Question 6 of 12

How much does conflict with your child impact your daily energy?

A

It’s tough in the moment, but I recover pretty quickly.

B

It drains me, even after small challenges.

C

It dominates my day and sets the tone for everything else.

D

It leaves me numb, disconnected, or unable to function.

Question 7 of 12

When your child’s anger explodes, what do you believe in that moment?

A

“This is hard, but I can hold it.”

B

“Why does she always do this to me?”

C

“I can’t handle this anymore.”

D

“I must be doing something wrong as a mum.”

Question 8 of 12

How often do you feel guilty about how you responded after conflict?

A

Occasionally — I notice but let it go.

B

Quite often — I replay what I said.

C

Most of the time — the guilt eats at me.

D

Almost always — I feel like I’m breaking them.

Question 9 of 12

When you were younger, were you able to freely express your emotions and have them validated by an adult — without feeling responsible for their reactions?

A

Yes, often. I could share how I felt, and the adults around me stayed steady and supportive.

B

Sometimes. It depended on the situation — sometimes I felt safe, other times I held back.

C

Rarely. I usually felt like my emotions were too much, or that I might upset someone.

D

Never. I learned early on to hide my feelings or manage other people’s emotions instead of my own.

Question 10 of 12

How do you feel about conflict in your home?

A

I can manage it, but it drains me.

B

I avoid it as much as possible.

C

I brace for it every day.

D

I feel powerless — like I can’t show up at all.

Question 11 of 12

When your child is calm again, what happens for you?

A

I settle fairly quickly too.

B

My body still feels tense, even if things look fine.

C

I stay stuck in the stress — replaying everything.

D

I feel empty, like I’ve disconnected to survive it.

Question 12 of 12

Which statement feels most like you right now?

A

“I know I need to steady myself first, but it’s a work in progress.”

B

“If only my child would change, things would be easier.”

C

“I don’t trust myself to handle the next meltdown.”

D

“I feel invisible — like no one sees how hard this is.”

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